After a break........... I am back!

I have been astounded by the idiocy in the world and the amount of morons in it, and have seen something written which I like...........

Fostering the good-for -nothing at the expense of the good is an extreme cruelty. There is no greater curse to prosperity than that of bequeathing them an increasing population of imbeciles. It will be a burden of a dead weight of human waste.

It's the same in schools. Keeping back the more advanced children to their detriment in classes, to allow more teaching to the slower.

The law of the jungle applies to everything living in this world. We mess it up by trying to apply our "values" and succeed in creating mayhem.

Will we ever learn.

Very drastic, but very true.

Good, isn't it..............

After a break of the summer........

The fact is..... religion is the worst perpetrator of mass slaughter in the world, ever.  If one puts the likings of Stalin, Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, genocide in Ruanda, Yugoslavia, etc. etc. all together, it reaches probably about not even 1/8 of the killings done in the name of God..........which brings me to:

The Pope has been visiting Britain. Why? He should be down on his hands and knees prostrating himself with all the cardinals and priests, whom he should get rid of, for the amount of paedophilia which has been rampant in the catholic church for decades. Having said that, all the other popes before him were as much to blame.

I feel that living in the 21st century should produce marriages for the catholic clergy, then their hands will be on parts which should be, male to female and not male to male, especially on young. Also, given that young boys are always being preyed upon by them, it would be expedient when the younger ones, for choir practise, etc. were always with a nun around to make sure this fiddling, except for a violin, which I have yet to see in a church, doesn't happen. Which brings me to the cases of nuns also having done probably unspeakable things with their charges. How do we know what really goes on behind these facades? Tales of unsupressed lust must be there, so, bring marriage into the church and when all concerned are getting enough of the lust and fornication, albeit legally, surely there would be no more sheenanigans going on.

Or at least there shouldn't be. The human flesh being what it is, I think there will always be naughtiness behind those closed doors...and on that note, here are some of the world's stupidest laws:

In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

 

In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
Apropos of nothing......

I adore watching Cesar Millan's programme "The Dog Whisperer". This man is fabulous. I want to adopt him. How he manages not to punch some of the stupidest people with animals, I don't know. I had lots of dogs, cats, birds, etc. and never had problems. I also never had problems bringing up my daughter. The same rules apply, disipline and fairness and lots of love. And it all comes back to you in waves of untold intensity and immense happiness.

Good, isn't it.........

My irreverant look at the headlines...........

Courtesy of my friendly Pilot Whale...

Battle of Britain aces fly again........I thought most of them were dead! Is the Royal Air Force having recruiting problems that they have to dig up the old codgers? What would happen if there was another world war? God help us all!!

British Museum emptied over gas.......???? Were there too many people who had had Heinz Baked Beans for breakfast?

Paris Hilton arrsted in US cocaine arrest.... She should be arrested just on principle. How someone as vapid as this can be raised to the status of a "Star" is beyond me. It also shows how dreadfully stupid most people are in raising her up there! I'd like to see her put away and the key thrown out of a helicopter,  along with people like Kim Kardashian, who is this woman?, Megan Fox, the poor man's Angelina, Naomi Campbell, the Duchess of York, who is becoming a joke, the list is endless.

Hidden tiger, cub on the mend after luggage was searched... I have not the foggiest idea what this abnormal woman was thinking of. Along with the British woman who shoved a cat into a wheelie bin and the poor thing was left there for 15 hours, I suggest we do the same to them. Shove one into a suitcase and the other into a dustbin, and send both to Alaska for the winter. Sarah Palin is welcome to them, they have the same IQ. - 10.

Missiles thrown in city protest... now I am scared! I had no idea people were beconing so strong that they could throw missiles! were they Sidewinders, or what? Will we see people fixed to the undercarriage of bombers, dropping the missiles, instead of the computer on board doing this? Whatever next, I'm impressed.

Poverty linked to child tooth decay.......nonsense. It's parents not teaching their childen how to brush their teeth.

Karzai criticizes pullout plan...... well of course he does! There go all the billions we in the west have been pouring into the country without any accounting for it, rather like what my favourite George Dubbya did in Iraq.

Male oesophagal cancer doubles.... what? Are they all performing Linda Lovelace's trick now? I could go on about this, but will not because of my sensibilities on the subject...

Wheat genome to boost food supplies.... I read this fast and saw: Wheat gnome to boost food supplies. I had this vision of this unfortunate gnome being asked to carry out super human efforts, rather like Superman, in getting food to people, poor little fella... I also read somewhere else: Full Tilt Poker to take place. My version was: Full Tit Poker to take place.... which I find far more amusing!!

Good, isn't it...

The interpretations of moi as to the latest headlines.....

Topshop boss to help find savings. AAAHHHH... what a nice man. Please come over here and help me find mine? Are there any of my friends who wish him to visit as well? I love people who will do this, it shows a je ne sais quoi..community spirit?

Police probe dead seals mystery. HEIDI.... he's at it again! This man of yours gets up to all sorts of nonsense when you're not watching.

Oracle sues Google over android. My goodness, what ever will Google think of next? Are they producing a special species of Googlers now?? This shows signs of Blade Runner. However if they all come out looking like Rutger Hauer did when he was young, who cares! Which Oracle is this? The building or a person... mysteriouser and mysteriouser... the saga continues...

Debt swap protects Brazils forests. Now I am ALL in favour for anything protecting something else, especially when it's to do with forests, otherwise in a few years we'll all be walking about with oxygen masks. However, this is a novel idea and I would like to know if my debt of 100$ could be swapped to protect something else grandiose? If we all came together with our debts, maybe we can achieve some thing worthwhile, no?

What does blind football look like? I would think they haven't a clue, as they can't see!

Blackberry replies to India ban. Blackberry are getting really clever! They can now reply to all sorts of things without the need of people, I am impressed.

Fires rage through rural Brazil. I should think they are angry as more and more trees are cut down haphazardly and ad infinitum. Good for you fires, stick up for the right to be angry!

Good, isn't it........

Against all the Islam marches and rallies, Time to see what the other side says.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0OgpUjPU-E

Enough of all the mosques everywhere, we want Christian churches and the freedom to worship as we wish, in your countries, like you are able to worship in ours. Do this and you will be already on the way to peace.

Wafa Sultan's debate on Al Jezeera tv was brilliant. A Muslim who was fed up with the atrocities committed in the name of Islam and wanted to get her message out. She lives under death threats, a brave woman and to be looked up to.

No more radicalism. of ANY kind, anywhere!!

Apropos of nothing........

A study in courage and just a funny photo of an alpaca.

The lamb was born in China, the famer wanted to dump it, but after it survived the night and was trying to find milk, she has been bottle feeding it and it follows her around all over the place. How wonderful! I salute you little fella! You look very odd but you are a shining example of what one can overcome with pluck and courage, even if you don't know it. 

The alpaca has just been sheared and the expression is simply too fabulous not to post! 

Good, isn't it..........

I have posted this because what Geert Wilders says in so many ways, is true.

I am against ANY kind of fanaticism and know that most Muslim people can, and do, exist very comfortably with their"Infidel" neighbours. Yet this man brings up things which are very much in the forefront of a tremendous amount of people everywhere. I wish to hear the moderates of the Muslim world making more of a furore against the radicals, but don't. 

I see that some Muslims regard building a mosque next to Ground Zero not as being disrespectful, to put it mildly. It is, very. It is distasteful and revolting to any person who witnessed this atrocity from near or far, and to build a mosque there is simply thumbing their noses at the general public. I sincerely hope it never comes to pass. There are enough mosques in Christian countries. Where are Christian churches in the Muslim world? I don't see any, or very few. As this will, as I have written before, that Christians can worship freely in Muslim countries, with all the rights that Muslims are accorded in Christian countries, come to pass when hell freezes over, I'm afraid that my tolerance is at a low ebb.

Hate and intolerance stop the world from being united and it's not being done by Christian people, it is, unfortunately being done by radical Muslims.

Geert Wilders is a Dutch Member of Parliament.



In a generation or two, the US will ask itself: Who lost Europe ?
Here is the speech of Geert Wilders, Chairman, Party for Freedom, the Netherlands , at the Four Seasons, New York ,

introducing an Alliance of Patriots and announcing the Facing Jihad Conference in Jerusalem .

Dear friends,

Thank you very much for inviting me.

I come to America with a mission.  All is not well in the old world. There is a tremendous danger looming, and it is very difficult to be optimistic.  We might be in the final stages of the Islamization of Europe.  This not only is a clear and present danger to the future of Europe itself, it is a threat to America and the sheer survival of the West.  The United States as the last bastion of Western civilization, facing an Islamic Europe.

First I will describe the situation on the ground in Europe .  Then, I will say a few things about Islam.  To close I will tell you about a meeting in Jerusalem .

The Europe you know is changing.

You have probably seen the landmarks.  But in all of these cities, sometimes a few blocks away from your tourist destination, there is another world.  It is the world of the parallel society created by Muslim mass-migration.

All throughout Europe a new reality is rising: entire Muslim neighborhoods where very few indigenous people reside or are even seen. And if they are, they might regret it. This goes for the police as well. It's the world of head scarves, where women walk around in figureless tents, with baby strollers and a group of children. Their husbands, or slaveholders if you prefer, walk three steps ahead. With mosques on many street corners. The shops have signs you and I cannot read. You will be hard-pressed to find any economic activity. These are Muslim ghettos controlled by religious fanatics. These are Muslim neighborhoods, and they are mushrooming in every city across Europe . These are the building-blocks for territorial control of increasingly larger portions of Europe, street by street, neighborhood by neighborhood, city by city.

There are now thousands of mosques throughout Europe .  With larger congregations than there are in churches.  And in every European city there are plans to build super-mosques that will dwarf every church in the region.  Clearly, the signal is: we rule.

Many European cities are already one-quarter Muslim: just take Amsterdam , Marseille and Malmo in Sweden . In many cities the majority of the under-18 population is Muslim. Paris is now surrounded by a ring of Muslim neighborhoods. Mohammed is the most popular name among boys in many cities.

In some elementary schools in Amsterdam the farm can no longer be mentioned, because that would also mean mentioning the pig, and that would be an insult to Muslims.

Many state schools in Belgium and Denmark only serve halal food to all pupils. In once-tolerant Amsterdam gays are beaten up almost exclusively by Muslims. Non-Muslim women routinely hear 'whore, whore'.Satellite dishes are not pointed to local TV stations, but to stations in the country of origin.

In France school teachers are advised to avoid authors deemed offensive to Muslims, including Voltaire and Diderot; the same is increasingly true of Darwin .  The history of the Holocaust can no longer be taught because of Muslim sensitivity.

In England sharia courts are now officially part of the British legal system. Many neighborhoods in France are no-go areas for women without head scarves. Last week a man almost died after being beaten up by Muslims in Brussels, because he was drinking during the Ramadan.

Jews are fleeing France in record numbers, on the run for the worst wave of anti-Semitism since World War II.  French is now commonly spoken on the streets of Tel Aviv and Netanya , Israel .  I could go on forever with stories like this.  Stories about Islamization.

A total of fifty-four million Muslims now live in Europe .. San Diego University recently calculated that a staggering 25 percent of the population in Europe will be Muslim just 12 years from now. Bernhard Lewis has predicted a Muslim majority by the end of this century.

Now these are just numbers.  And the numbers would not be threatening if the Muslim-immigrants had a strong desire to assimilate. But there are few signs of that. The Pew Research Center reported that half of French Muslims see their loyalty to Islam as greater than their loyalty to France. One-third of French Muslims do not object to suicide attacks. The British Centre for Social Cohesion reported that one-third of British Muslim students are in favor of a worldwide caliphate. Muslims demand what they call 'respect'. And this is how we give them respect. We have Muslim official state holidays.

The Christian-Democratic attorney general is willing to accept sharia in the Netherlands if there is a Muslim majority.We have cabinet members with passports from Morocco and Turkey ..

Muslim demands are supported by unlawful behavior, ranging from petty crimes and random violence, for example against ambulance workers and bus drivers, to small-scale riots. Paris has seen its uprising in the low-income suburbs, the banlieus. I call the perpetrators 'settlers'. Because that is what they are. They do not come to integrate into our societies; they come to integrate our society into their Dar-al-Islam. Therefore, they are settlers.

Much of this street violence I mentioned is directed exclusively against non-Muslims, forcing many native people to leave their neighborhoods, their cities, their countries. Moreover, Muslims are now a swing vote not to be ignored.

The second thing you need to know is the importance of Mohammed the prophet. His behavior is an example to all Muslims and cannot be criticized. Now, if Mohammed had been a man of peace, let us say like Ghandi and Mother Theresa wrapped in one, there would be no problem. But Mohammed was a warlord, a mass murderer, a pedophile, and had several marriages - at the same time. Islamic tradition tells us how he fought in battles, how he had his enemies murdered and even had prisoners of war executed. Mohammed himself slaughtered the Jewish tribe of Banu Qurayza. If it is good for Islam, it is good. If it is bad for Islam, it is bad

Let no one fool you about Islam being a religion. Sure, it has a god, and a here-after, and 72 virgins. But in its essence Islam is a political ideology. It is a system that lays down detailed rules for society and the life of every person. Islam wants to dictate every aspect of life.  Islam means 'submission'. Islam is not compatible with freedom and democracy, because what it strives for is sharia. If you want to compare Islam to anything, compare it to communism or national-socialism, these are all totalitarian ideologies.

Now you know why Winston Churchill called Islam 'the most retrograde force in the world', and why he compared Mein Kampf to the Quran. The public has wholeheartedly accepted the Palestinian narrative, and sees Israel as the aggressor. I have lived in this country and visited it dozens of times. I support Israel. First, because it is the Jewish homeland after two thousand years of exile up to and including Auschwitz, second because it is a democracy, and third because Israel is our first line of defense.

This tiny country is situated on the fault line of jihad, frustrating Islam's territorial advance. Israel is facing the front lines of jihad, like Kashmir, Kosovo, the Philippines,Southern Thailand, Darfur in Sudan , Lebanon , and Aceh in Indonesia. Israel is simply in the way. The same way West-Berlin was during the Cold War.

The war against Israel is not a war against Israel. It is a war against the West. It is jihad. Israel is simply receiving the blows that are meant for all of us. If there would have been no Israel, Islamic imperialism would have found other venues to release its energy and its desire for conquest. Thanks to Israeli parents who send their children to the army and lay awake at night, parents in Europe and America can sleep well and dream, unaware of the dangers looming.

Many in Europe argue in favor of abandoning Israel in order to address the grievances of our Muslim minorities. But if Israel were, God forbid, to go down, it would not bring any solace to the West It would not mean our Muslim minorities would all of a sudden change their behavior, and accept our values. On the contrary, the end of Israel would give enormous encouragement to the forces of Islam. They would, and rightly so, see the demise of Israel as proof that the West is weak, and doomed. The end of Israel would not mean the end of our problems with Islam, but only the beginning. It would mean the start of the final battle for world domination. If they can get Israel , they can get everything. So-called journalists volunteer to label any and all critics of Islamization as a 'right-wing extremists' or 'racists'.  In my country, the Netherlands, 60 percent of the population now sees the mass immigration of Muslims as the        number one policy mistake since World War II. And another 60 percent sees Islam as the biggest threat. Yet there is a greater danger than terrorist attacks, the scenario of America as the last man standing. The lights may go out in Europe faster than you can imagine. An Islamic Europe means a Europe without freedom and democracy, an economic wasteland, an intellectual nightmare, and a loss of military might for America - as its allies will turn into enemies, enemies with atomic bombs. With an Islamic Europe, it would be up to America alone to preserve the heritage of Rome , Athens and Jerusalem ...

Dear friends, liberty is the most precious of gifts.  My generation never had to fight for this freedom, it was offered to us on a silver platter, by people who fought for it with their lives. All throughout Europe, American cemeteries remind us of the young boys who never made it home, and whose memory we cherish. My generation does not own this freedom; we are merely its custodians. We can only hand over this hard won liberty to Europe 's children in the same state in which it was offered to us. We cannot strike a deal with mullahs and imams.  Future generations would never forgive us. We cannot squander our liberties. We simply do not have the right to do so.

We have to take the necessary action now to stop this Islamic stupidity from destroying the free world that we know.

English as she is spoke.....

Exactly...

I have been going on about the appalling lack of well spoken people, in English and other languages. As I speak 5, fluently and have forgotten 2 which I don't use any more, I hope I have a right to comment on this.

A friend of mine tells me that languages have to develop, of course they do, but when they " develop" to the point that you can't understand what the other person is saying, what's the point? One could use deaf and dumb language just as well, as one can't mess it up! Much more sensible. Or Morse code. Everyone should be issued with a small clacking toy and off they'd go, clacking away. One would never need to open ones mouth. If someone had bad teeth, it would be an advantage not to have to show them in public. The noise would be horrendous and I can imagine what could happen in an argument, but the language would stay intact.

It has come to the point where one well spoken  person from a town can't understand what a badly spoken person, from the same town says. It's happened to me many times. I haven't a clue what people say because they talk with their mouths shut, half open, don't pronounce endings, gulp down the middle letters and generally cause havoc and mayhem. Languages are generally rather nice. English is, but it's massacred by most of the British population. The Andalucians do this as well, people from the northern part of the country can't understand them because half the word is missing! And there's no such language called Spanish actually. It's Castilian. 

Ranting on, why do actors and actresses swallow their words? Sometimes they talk so softly one needs a hearing aid to hear what they say, and then when they do say it, you can't understand it. I am constantly turning up and down the volume on a film  because the special effects are horrendously loud and make you deaf, so that when they do finally speak, you don't know what the hell they said!. Wonderful.

Having said all this, I deplore the way languages are going mainly because of utter laziness in the population. Children should be sent to special boot camps if they don't speak English properly. It'll teach them the glories of this language, keep them off the streets and make them thinner as they would have their mouths full of golf balls making them enunciate correctly.

Good, isn't it.............

I'm back...

And raring to go: some more wonderful things I have floating about in the world...There are Nobel Prizes honouring silly things which have been discovered, and some are absolutely wonderful! They are presented every year at Harvard, by Nobel Laureates, all perfectly true.

Public Health Prize : There is a bra which, in an emergency, converts into 2 gas masks. I can see all the plastic surgeons doing a wonderful trade in places like Iraq, Afghanistan etc. Do you think Pamela Andersen's face is big enough for her bra?

Peace: For determing whether it is better to be smashed over the head with a full bottle or an empty one. This was done in Bern, which doesn't speak well for the Bernese, as they are reckoned by the other Swiss to be the slowest people in Switzerland. Now, as there were obviously tests done on people (??????) there must be a LOT more dull Bernese wandering about the streets.

Biology: For demonstrating that kitchen refuse can be reduced more than 90% in mass by using bacteris extracted from the faeces of Giant Pandas ! I have contacted the WWF to make sure that no Pandas will be smuggled out or force bred. It would be difficult to have one in one's back garden due to the sparcity of the bamboo they feed on. However, just in case there's a run on them, I have now cut all my plants down in my garden and am switching to growing bamboo. As most of my plants take my garden over, leaving me with 25cms. of space to sit, this won't be a problem growing it.

Physics: For analyzing and determing why pregnant women don't tip over. Go back further in my blogs and find out where I mention this pertaining to shoes.... I must be psychic...

Chemistry: For creating diamonds out of Tequila. Cool...I hate Tequila, so shan't miss it, I shall sponsor them ad infinitum... as I love diamonds.

Literature: For Irelands' police, as they have written more than 50 traffic tickets to the most frequent driving offender whose name is: PRAWO JAZDY..... which means driving license in Polish!!!

Good, isn't it.............

Further to what I blogged before

I was very pleased to see no less an eminent writer called Christopher Hitchens, in Vanity Fair, who wrote an article called "Sex and the single martyr".  He says what I say.............

I have just read this.......... you won't believe it

Earlier this year, an Iranian cleric claimed women who wear revealing clothes cause natural disasters. Hojjat ol-eslam Kazem Sediqi, a prayer leader in Tehran, said: "Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes."

Whatever will they think of next. Are they real? The problem is that men and women don't have normal relationships with each other in these strict Muslim countries, leading to frustration, and that,  mullahs, is the natural progression of things.

Good, isn't it..............

Laws of life, sent to me by one dear friend and enjoyed so much by moi, that I have posted them with my comments.

And before we start, how true they all are....

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch & you'll have to pee. (Never fails)

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. (As do earrings when you are in a hurry and the others don't match your outfit)

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. ( Too many to mention!)

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal & someone always answers. (And they never speak your language)

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. ( This has not happened to me yet, probably because I am my own boss)

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were
in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). ( And there is always some prat who looks smug as they go past)

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
rings. (Do not know as I take my telephones into the bathroom with me!)

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. ( Yes, especially with clients who are ghastly)

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. (As per the washing machine)

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. ( Women have this on the end of their boobs and men in their pants, which does not stop them from scratching like a dog. The men, I mean)

11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet & who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies & stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk. (I have never been to an American hockey game, so cannot comment. European hockey is different.)

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. (Not applicable, see Law of the Alibi)

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. (Also standing waiting at a traffic light. The people behind you in their cars will invariably go behind you, like sheep)

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich
landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness & cost
of the carpet or rug. ( But of course!)

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. 
(Very true especially of politicians)

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.( A fine example is Gordon Brown, ex Prime M¡nister of Gt. Britain. However his clothes didn't fit.)

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet. (Appicable to so called "STARS" They should take heed. Footballers too)

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a
product that you really like, they will stop making it.( With my friend it's lipstick and with me, perfume, and it drives us both NUTS!)

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the
doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. (Rather like the washing machine thing, see above)

Having a think about sex..............

Reading something in the papers this morning made me ponder on this:

Do men want it more than women?No, I don't think so. Maybe they want it more than women, but honestly, are they ready and up for it every minute of every hour, seven days a week? Somehow I have the feeling, not.. Women differ mostly because hormones etc. make them feel like having a lot of sex at certain times rather than the urge being equally distributed across 31 days of the month. Also I feel men have to realize that after a massive row, all is not forgiven when you tell her you'd like to screw her brains out right there and then....to make up. It doesn't work with women!

Older people don't want sex. Oh really? Try telling your parents! On second thoughts, better not. . We have all thought that we discovered sex, forgetting that our parents, perish the thought, got up to exactly the same nonsense that we do, or did. I remember not speaking to my poor parents for a week when it suddenly hit me one day, coming down the stairs, that "That's what they'd been doing and then I emerged 9 months later!!!". I was 16.  They hadn't a clue why the silence of the lambs was suddenly alive in our household. It's not a given that younger men and women do it more frequently. When one gets older, the fact that worries about having suddenly unexpected children appearing, has flown out of the window, so sex can be entered into, in all senses of the word, with more gusto!. I do think younger people are more frenzied and probably much louder, apart from the older couple in a version of Las Vegas, who had to be moved to a villa as they were somewhat vocal in the nightly and daily sheenanigans and weren't letting the surrounding people in the hotel sleep! what fun! At age 80 something and causing sexual havoc! great...

The all encompassing matter of size....does it matter? Yeah and nay.. It would be a fact if you were worried about the amplitude, a lack of overall self-esteem is clearly bad. Similarly it could be that women like to be confronted by something of some stature - although many will tell you that too big is offputting. From discussions with men and women friends, size is no barometer of manhood or virility. Enthusiasm can more than compensate for any physical shortcomings and there are so many fun ways of having a good time!

Oysters are an aphrodisiac....Maybe for other oysters, but no, they aren't. Neither do all the other fallacies of Tiger's penises etc. I'd much rather that beautiful animal had all its dangly bits than some chap think he could be the next porn star because he's taken some ground up powder!. Talking about tigers, they have some interesting size down there. How do I know? I saw one in an operating theatre, impressive....

Good, isn't it...........

The headlines and me, my interpretation of such..........

Naomi Campbell in war crimes case. If ever there's a menace, it surely must be this woman. Not content with bashing people with her mobile phone, harrassment, kicking and hitting ad nauseum, she now has committed war crimes. I have it on good authority that at least 6 countries now want to charge her with all sorts of things. Incenting women to wear too short skirts, specially when they shouldn't
(see photos of Walmart people), causing armies to open fire on each other when they didn't want to, by her loud mouthed foul language, wearing too much make-up and too many wigs, causing the women to kill each other so they could get enough hair to make wigs, you get my jist. It's a shame she's a walking disaster. I often wondered what on earth she and Joaquin Cortes ( the Spanish flamenco dancer) had to talk about. On second thoughts, they didn't.

Wonder Woman gets new outfit in 600th espisode. Oh goody!! I am glad for her, she's been moaning about her looks for a LONG time now. She didn't appreciate the holes appearing in various strategic parts of her anatomy whilst she was doing all her heroic deeds, however did tell me that it took the minds off whatever it was the criminals were doing as they gazed at her bits and pieces, and she could collar them easily. As they were handcuffed, some could be heard moaning... "I've gone to heaven"........

Harbour seals "pupping" earlier. Does Seal know about this, and Heidi Klum? Does this mean that she'll be giving birth earlier if she's expecting? I suppose he'd better keep her away from harbours in general, goodness knows what might happen!

Huge China bank flotation begins. I've just seen the Bank of China going down the N340, it's on its way to Madrid to make the idiots there see how banks should be run. I lent it my rubber dinghy to float on. Other Chinese banks have been seen rounding the Cape of Good Hope and they are worried about the pirates when they go towards the middle east. The head of the banks, Mr. We Gotmore, said to-day in a communiquè: "We are sure that the army of rubber dinghies lent to us by our good and faithful friend in Guadalmina, will keep us afloat until we have ridden this out. That is if the bloody pirates don't shoot holes in them."

Scientists peer inside a python after it's eaten. That's good, otherwise they might have ended up inside. Quote " "It's a sit and wait predator, it fasts for months and then eats a really large meal.
It can eat the equivalent of up to 50% of its own bodyweight, and in order to get the energy out of the meal, it has to restart the intestinal system very fast." Unquote. Looking at some of the people in Walmart photos, they do this as well, and other positively revolting things to end up the way they do. I am glad they have not yet resorted to doing what the Komodo dragons do, ( see earlier blog) that would be really gross. The pythons seem to have somewhat better manners too, they don't hurl themselves at a tree trying to force their food down their throat. I take that back, I think some of the Walmart people do this as well...

Brit actor Garfield is new Spider Man. I never knew there was an actor looking like Garfield!! How's he going to get into that costume? He's too fat and furry!!

Russia set for drink - drive ban. This has caused utter chaos all over Russia. All the hospitals, doctors, nurses, ambulance drivers, will be taking to the streets, not forgetting the people running the morgues!! They have taken up arms and the funeral people are committing mass suicide as they face utter ruin from no more dead bodies in their hundreds turning up.

Good, isn't it. And that's my lot of irreverance for this weekend..........

Odd things in the world I found over the weekend....

The Corpse flower. Sounds good, doesn't it and apparently it smells even better! Having never smelt a corpse, maybe I should put that on my List Of Things To Do...I can only presume it's ghastly. It doesn't look particularly appetizing either. It blooms after a period of 13 years in all its smelly glory and people come from all over the world to visit Indonesia, whence it comes. One has even been called TED, and grew in the University of California - Botanical Conservatory. They were very happy because it lasted the longest flowering. I am sure this is appealing to the university and carrion eaters which would go into raptures at the smell, however I rather prefer smells as in perfume. I have not yet found a friend of mine who would like to join me in seeing this flower, so will have to go alone, and then cross it off my list, hoping that I live that long after having smelt it.

We come now to the Hagfish. Just look at what I found: Hagfishes, The adjective which best describes the Myxini is "Lovecraftian" I didn't know there was an adjective called Lovecraftian!! What a wonderful word! Can we use it in Scrabble? I certainly wouldn't use the word "Love" in anything to with this fish. Yuk would be more likely. This poor fish is pale pink, and is well known for the large quantities of sticky slime they produce. How appealing. Can you imagine going into a delicatessen and asking for: 400 millilitres of slime? Tasty!! They also have three accessory hearts, (quite cool) no cerebrum or cerebellum, (lots of people like this too, see People from Walmart..) no jaws or stomach, and will "sneeze" when their nostrils clog with their own slime. A very pleasant thought, no? They are found in cold ocean waters of both hemispheres, scavenging dead and dying fish but also preying on small invertebrates. I am positively delighted for them. I shall never go swimming in the sea again. They have, and do all sorts of other delightful things, which I will not mention, because you will also never go swimming again. They look positively revolting skinned, you find it on the web and see for yourself. However, the poor old Blobfish, still wins hands down in the ugliest fish ever. I am starting to feel very sorry for them and will probably adopt one out of pity. On second thought, I would have to be very drunk to do that.

The Star -nosed Mole. I like moles, they are rather pretty in a mole-ish sort of way. Blind as a bat, or Harry Potter, whichever your preference. This one though, has at the end of his nose, pink waving about tentacles. Quote" The star-nosed mole is covered in thick blackish brown water-repellent fur and has large scaled feet and a long thick tail, which appears to function as a fat storage reserve for the spring breeding season. The mole's most distinctive feature is a circle of 22 mobile, pink, fleshy tentacles at the end of the snout, from which they derive their name. These are used to identify food by touch, such as worms, insects and crustaceans" unquote. Have you seen them? They are not really a thing one could fall in love with immediately as say a Newfoundland or a French Bulldog, and want to take home with you. Their tentacles are covered with what is called: Eimers Organs. Aren't you learning a lot reading my blogs!! What I find absolutely fascinating is the fact that they can decipher what is prey, have the title of fastest-eating mammal, taking as short as 120 milliseconds (average: 227 milliseconds) to identify and consume individual food items. Its brain decides in the ultra short time of 8 ms if a prey is comestible or not. This speed is at the limit of the speed of neurons. Absolutely incredible. They also possess the ability to smell underwater. All actually fantastic because they are not one of nature's loveliest animals. I am sure another Star-nosed mole would love them and do, producing more Star-nosed Moles, as they are not on a danger list anywhere.

The Proboscis monkey! Now there's an animal with a whopper of a nose, and we all know the old adage about length of something on a man is relative to the size of his nose! WELLLLL. The lady monkeys must all be in 7th heaven! They are facing extinction though, which is very sad as they surely have produced many studies with nerdy students all making improbable guesses as to what exactly could be the length of a John Thomas as compared with its hooter! I'd like to know how they got their data.....

While I am over in this part of the world, namely Indonesia, Borneo etc. let's finish up with the Komodo dragon. The worlds largest, it is also disgusting. It has one of the worst cases of halitosis, barring the Hippo, which is even worse, that you can find. Their eating habits leave a lot to be desired too. Komodo dragons eat by tearing large chunks of flesh and swallowing them whole while holding the carcass down with their forelegs. For smaller prey up to the size of a goat, their loosely articulated jaws, flexible skull, and expandable stomach allow it to swallow its prey whole, juicy!! I'd open a school of manners over there. Copious amounts of red saliva (ugh) that the Komodo dragons produce, help to lubricate the food, but swallowing is still a long process (15–20 minutes to swallow a goat). Komodo dragons may attempt to speed up the process by ramming the carcass against a tree to force it down its throat, sometimes ramming so forcefully that the tree is knocked down. After eating up to 80 percent of its body weight in one meal, it drags itself to a sunny location to speed digestion, as the food could rot and poison the dragon if left undigested for too long. Sounds positively divine, doesn't it! I cannot imagine what their mating habits are like, and maybe it's just as well that I, and you, don't know.

Good, isn't it............

Interesting, do click, read it and check for yourselves....

www.tomgrossmedia.com/mideastdispatches/archives/001114.html

hhhmmmmmmm



Good, isn't it.....

Before I depart to a cocktail party... some headlines which amused me...

Kyrgyz toll could be much higher. Why? I wouldn't have thought that there were a lot of people going to Kyrgyzstan actually, as 90% of the people on earth probably have no idea where it is. So, why the toll? Should this be " As the Bell tolls" kind of thing, or what?

IMF says Spain's taking right steps. That's good to know I suppose, but for whom I have no idea. Have they lost the way to the left steps ? Certainly the normal person on the street hasn't a clue.

Bobby Fischer body to be exhumed. Whatever next. We learn of Michael Jackson going to appear in a video, now they are going to get Fischer up! Why? So he can teach a new form of chess, called "Moves from the Grave?" This is a lot of resurrection going on, I'd be careful if I were you.

Japan pledges to beat deflation. They have issued everybody in Japan with Ping-pong bats and are out to cause mayhem. The name of the games is " Find deflation and whack it till it dies." It will get rid of a lot of pent up emotions which the Japanese normally do not show. They will all come out with big smiles and a feeling of relief. Rather like taking laxatives.

Hitler industry. Great. Now we are going to have him pop up again, wasn't one shot of this berk enough? They will get him up out of whatever hole he has been buried, and market him. He'll look worse than poor old Michael when he comes out... Talk about Wes Craven...

Pregnancy ever more regulated. Now, I could go on about this for hours, but will leave you with this small thought. Regulation has nothing to do with pregnancy. It's a question of 2 different sexes bonking each other like mad to reach this point. There's no-one standing there going: Regulate, regulate, or have I missed something? Neither my daughters father nor I ever noticed anything whilst producing her...

Actually, there's a lot of ethnic violence going on in Kyrgyzstan, for which I am very sorry. I didn't cause it, even with my irreverant remarks on everything, but I do not like this sort of thing. Life's difficult enough, without hate.

Good, isn't it...........

An article saying what I have thought since years. .............

I cannot download it as it's a PDF file, but it's The Times, 16.06.2010, artivle By José Maria Aznar, "Support Israel, if it goes down, we all go down".

Whether the people out there like this or not, it's a very interesting article written by an astute politician. And I have said this on many an occasion, also in former blogs.

I can't resist.....Tipped Spain in shock defeat.........

I am sitting in Spain as I write and have not felt myself going over sideways as yet. No earthquakes either as millions commit suicide and hit the deck...

Perhaps we will be flooded out with the mass tears which will no doubt come! Plus all the inevitable recriminations etc. I can't wait to see the headline tomorrow in the Spanish newspapers, it will be like the day of The Apocalypse! They will now have to cope with drastic cuts in the economy, mass protests as to this, then they will protest no doubt about the failure of the European champions in a sport which they thought they had sewn up... think again... oh the JOY of it!! I am vindicated. Football is a game for ........... All the players should now have their pay cheques cut in half or more, which will rebalance the national debt by a lot, and in general, all players should go back to school and learn to speak correctly and do a lot of other things which I will think of some other time.

Osborne to give bank more power. Since when has Ozzy become a bank manager? I know he writes for the Times, but a bank manager? Maybe he can sort out the Spanish debt. He'll probably do better than the lot in power have done for the last 8 years, with 2 more to go! Now, there's a just cause for committing suicide..

Something really serious and which I feel very strongly about, a headline from today's BBC news: Call to ban Iraq female mutilation. An absolutely dreadful, revolting practise which has no roots in Islam. Quote: It has no particular origins in Islam, although some clerics in Kurdistan have welcomed it because they believe it stifles sexual urges in young girls and women. No it doesn't. All it does is mutilate. It's done in the most appalling circumstances where the poor girl usually has no idea what is going on, causes ghastly injuries and pain for the rest of her life. I am glad that this is making headlines again as it is truly barbaric. Ban it everywhere...

Good, isn't it.............

Michael Jackson once more......

Can't we leave the poor man alone? Apparently he's to star in a new video game coming out soon. Now, I know we have done wonders in the field of medicine, but resurrecting the dead I thought was for others....already done. He was weird enough in his normal life on earth, but I am seriously worried about when he comes back from the dead!!! What will he now look like?

Also in the news, is that wonderful lot called the Kyrgyz people. From having been nowhere at all in the news for goodness knows how long, they are popping up everywhere, in HEADLINES as well, can you believe it! I am glad they are getting their name out. It will make people enunciate better.

And last but not least, pregnant women are risking their feet by wearing high heels. I didn't when I was carrying my daughter, or does that account for her having bright pink hair now? I had happy feet.

In a survey, these were the results: 66% regularly wore flip flops, 32% wore high heels, 53% wore ballet pumps and 30% wore Ugg boots. Flip-flops are not good for your feet, they are seriously hideous when one is pregnant, because they produce the most irritating sound, as most women scuff along in them, and heavier women, i.e. pregnant, would be scuffier still. The ones which are really pretty are ridiculously expensive, the relationship being, the less one has on ones feet, the more expensive they are. I have yet to fathom this out.

The lot wearing high heels would certainly look a lot nicer, so long as they are not so heavy around the middle that they would topple forward, presumably rather fast, and hit the deck with a squelch.

The ones with ballet pumps? Now, when you are preggers, you certainly are not going to look like Margot Fonteyn or Sylvie Guillaume, lithe and svelte, so what's the point?

Then we come to those in UGG boots. Just the name reminds me of cave people, UGG, UGG, a really uggly name if ever there was one. Even the Kyrgyz have a better name. The lot who wear these presumably are looking for comfort, and their mates are presumably also fond of UGGs because they tolerate their womenfolk wearing them.

I'd prefer a Kyrgyz. It has a better ring to it, and makes you enunciate well. (See former point made higher up).

Good, isn't it...........

It's hit me... headlines....

A teenager in Bali was ordered to tie the knot with a cow after being caught in a field standing naked behind the animal. Oh dear, times are really bad in Bali... he fainted after tying the knot with the cow, and she, poor thing, was drowned! I hope they don't do this sort of thing when a man and woman get married!

Actor Russell Crowe not dead. I hope someone told him this so he can rejoice and make merry, or something....

Region awaits Kyrgyz response. It's difficult alone just saying this name, let alone trying to spell it. Perhaps that's why they're not very often in the news.

Prehistoric mammal hair found in amber. NOW. There were very naughty mammals in them thar times. I wonder what they were up to to get the hair in a resin coming off a tree??? Anyone wish to make a guess??? GG rubbing? as per monkeys' ( Look it up.)

Cuba frees paraplegic dissident. Well I should bloody well think so. What did they expect him to do? Cause mayhem and havoc in a Cuban wheelchair?

Pakistan "Drunk" minister sacked. I seem to rememebr a minister in Japan who was accused of being drunk. He said it was his flu medication. Must have been quite something! I take flu medicine whe n the time arises, but am never drunk from it.

Good isn't it....

Apropos of my previous post... and such things...

Lionel Messi, the Argentinian "best football player in the world", was asked the other day what his favourite insect was.
His answer: a monkey.
Says it all doesn't it............

Japan has been paying countries bribes in the form of prostitutes and cash to buy their votes for carrying out whaling. How nice. Not for the whales though. Why does it have to be done? They say" for research purposes ". Pray tell me what they are doing? The synthetics made today for all sorts of things, which before used to come from these magnificent mammmals, are hundreds of times better, so where's the necessity? As whale meat is primarily blubber, i.e. fat, I can't imagine it's very tasty, rather like eating congealed paste, I'd imagine. So, no nutrients there, well, what does it have? exactly nothing for us, a lot for the whale....
Quote "In addition to storing energy, blubber can also accumulate toxic contaminants. If a whale or seal ingests pollutants, those pollutants may be stored in the blubber layer, where they can harm the animal as it uses those energy reserves. " Sounds rather tasty too...
It is also useful having it, I suppose if you are going to dive to the same depths these mammals do, or swim at temperatures of 40F or 4C, however, I can't see many people doing this for fun.
Also " Recent studies suggest that blubber contains naturally occurring PCBs, carcinogens which damage the human nervous, immune and reproductive systems". HHMMM, doesn't sound too good either but it would account for a lot of weird people wandering about. ( See the photos taken of people in Walmart). So WTF are they being killed for? Do the Japanese wish to make their countrymen into some race of Mutants, like The X Men? If they'd turn one out like Hugh Jackman, I might agree, whiskers and all, but I don't think so.

Sweden also will vote for it being allowed. Now the Swedes have just gone down a lot in my eyes,(as have many other countries). I like their Gustavian style of interior design and most of their food is really very tasty, except for Surstromming, a fermented herring which stinks like nothing you can possibly imagine, rather like the poor old Blobfish in the beauty stakes, something to be avoided at all costs, and I had a couple of super dishy Swedish boyfriends too, but, that doesn't make up for the fact, that this sucks. In fact all the countries which are going to re-instate whaling are complete bloody idiots.

Just to end my Sunday rant, copied from a headline this morning: "Fans' fury as ITV's HD coverage misses England's first World Cup goal... and switches to a car advert instead". How absolutely pathetic. Get a life.

Good, isn't it...

Football

Have you seen the nonsense at the opening of the world cup in South Africa? Explain to this obviously stupid person, why, with all the poverty there is there, and in other African nations, the governments have to spend MILLIONS on something like this? Surely the money spent on this could have been better used for the poor? It's all very well saying that this will bring revenue into the country. With the world in recession, I doubt it.
And my absolute pet hate: THE APPALLING AND OBSCENE AMOUNTS OF MONEY PAID TO FOOTBALLERS, WHO WHEN INTERVIEWED, CAN'T STRING 2 WORDS TOGETHER TO MAKE A CONSTRUCTIVE SENTENCE, AND HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO SPEAK!!!

Good isn't it...

Well, well!!!

I saw this morning in the Times, that the Saudi's have left an airspace through the northern part of the kingdom to allow Israeli fighters and bombers to get to Iran should it be necessary!!!
I never thought I'd live to see this! Knowing of course that Israel could wipe out most of the Middle East at the press of a button in a few minutes,as they have nuclear weapons, probably woke the Saudis up a bit more to getting themselves on the Israelis side. This was a good move. It'll send a message to Teheran, that is if anyone out there is looking. They are, for sure. I'd love to hear what they are all thinking now.

I also saw footage of Israeli soldiers offloading a ship destined with "humanitarian goods" for Gaza. Guess what they found at the back, hidden behind bags of flour? Hundreds and hundreds of mortars, grenades, bazookas etc. etc. I fail to see what there is humanitarian about this, it only proves what the Israelis have said all along. I realize that there is an dreadful amount of human suffering in Gaza, yes, but they voted in a terrorist government in the form of Hammas, didn't they. What do they expect from the Israelis? 7000 rockets shot into Israel over the period of a year means some kind of retaliation, doesn't it. It's all very complicated and yet it isn't. The Middle East will never be peaceful. I think they should all be happy that the Israelis have not yet pushed the button and wiped everyone out!

Some more nonsense to end this week, I hope you like the photo. I find it hilarious..

Good, isn't it......

Some nonsense from moi....after my rant of before

Headlines.
Seal uses whiskers to sense faraway fish. Does Heidi Klum know this???
China inflation outstrips target. Really? Are they inflating 20,50,or 100 metres? Or just stripping off? The mind boggles......
Hewitt on Europe. He's standing on it if he's anywhere between Ireland and Turkey.
Flotilla fallout. Obviously a lot of in fighting going on between them which we know nothing about. Or a nuclear explosion, which we know nothing about either...
Meat eating linked to early periods. This will be a tremendous relief to millions of women, who, after having suffered for years not knowing this, will now all switch to eating fish or veggies.
One of my favourites: Severed heads found in Guatemala. There are now a lot of headless bodies walking around. Reminds me of most politicians.
Toddler died of methadone dose. What will parents think of next to keep their children quiet. Actually, these 2 should be castrated and spayed and that's too good for them. The gave the child methadone to keep him quiet!!!!!!. How sick are some people?

And with that bout of total irreverance for the headlines, that's my interpretation. I hope you found them amusing.

Good, isn't it....

Unbelievable......

A seven-year-old boy was murdered by the Taleban in an apparent act of retribution this week. Afghan officials said that the child was accused of spying for US and Nato forces and hanged from a tree in southern Afghanistan.

Daoud Ahmadi, the spokesman for the provincial governor of Helmand, said that the killing happened days after the boy’s grandfather, Abdul Woodod Alokozai, spoke out against militants in their home village.

Mr Ahmadi said: “His grandfather is a tribal elder in the village and the village is under the control of the Taleban. His grandfather said some good things about the Government and he formed a small group of people to stand against the Taleban. That’s why the Taleban killed his grandson in revenge.”

Isn't it simply amazing. I am, for once, speechless. This is just unbelievable. The Taliban should all be put up against a wall and summarily shot and that's too good for them.

Qari Yousef Ahmaid, the Taleban spokesman, denied that any of his militants were involved. “The Taleban’s enemies are the Afghan Government and the foreign forces,” he said. “We never kill children. Everyone knows a seven-year-old can’t be a spy.”

Oh really? I have seen some nasty things which you have done against children. You teach them at an early age to hate, which is the worst thing possible. Children should be out playing and having fun, not wielding weapons.

Let's go on from there, as you all conveniently forget a lot of things you all do. What should we think about your interpretation of Islam, which forbids women to go freely in the streets, accepts burning girls and women for trying to get an education, accepts that "the family honour" can be revenged in the most horrendous ways? When I read the Koran, I can't recall anything like this there. It doesn't say that women have to be covered from head to foot either, simply that both men and women, quote " should be modestly attired" unquote. Also you go around beating people for the slightest imagined thing, chopping off womens fingers if their nails are painted, they are not allowed to this, nor that, the list is endless. Beatings after beatings, no wonder you are all hated. Look at you all. You are a disgrace as human beings, and ugly to boot and this comes from you from within.

It's an interpretation of a religion, which you say forbids and forbids, any freedom of thought, no music, no art, in fact, no nothing. Do you honestly think that after you have gone around killing people, that there will be anyone to teach, educate, look after the ill and infirm, etc. etc..... an endless list. I can't see it. Your world is full of hate. How sad you all are. Islam does not say this anywhere. You can't exist without the western world, whether you like it or not. You use guns from the west to kill. Go out and kill people with your bare hands, if you renounce the west. Let's see how far you'll get.

I dislike you intensely, and that's putting it mildly. You are a plague which should be stamped out, so people can be let free to live as they want. And Pres. Karzai, you are a corrupt idiot who has done much to bring all this about in your country, as have all the corrupt politicians in Afghan politics, with few exceptions. Where has all the aid you receive, billions and billions gone? On the streets? Where?? Afghans were a free people not so long ago with a King, but people don't know this or have forgotten. Afghans were educated, travelled and free. Both men and women. A flourishing country with a great culture. Now all in ruins, and for what.The free Afghans certainly are a vanishing species under the Taliban.

We don't like you. We don't like radicalism in any form. Christianity has committed horrors too, all in the name of "God". I don't say that it hasn't. But, we have moved on and you have gone backwards. Don't think there are 70 virgins waiting for you in heaven when, and if you should ever get there. There aren't.

Radicalism anywhere is a curse. In all religions, in all thinking. There are enough brutal despots littering history to prove it. Everywhere you look, especially in Africa, there is an effort to control people through hate and fear. My religion doesn't teach me that. It teaches the word of LOVE, infinitely better than your ideas and beliefs. Islam also says LOVE but, through your interpretation of Islam, there is none to see, only fear. However, I unfortunately see more violence and hate for anything which you do not think should be done, rampant in all the poorest countries. To be expected maybe when, if one doesn't have any food, one is too weak to resist, but should not be exploited. The Koran does not teach this.

All churches have through the ages committed unspeakable acts of violence towards any "unbeliever". But, is it not infinitely better, much harder too, to look inside ourselves and find the power of forgiving. I find it very hard indeed, but have managed it, and I am definitely no saint.

Good, isn't it...........

Apologies

to Hunter S. Thompson ( see earlier blog )who went to other worlds some time ago. How he lasted as long as he did, was a miracle. He had a Hawaiian sidekick called Gonzo, what a wonderful name, reminds me of the Muppet character.

US porn actor in 40 foot fall......... oh dear, this conjured up all sorts of weird images.
Brain helps control cholesterol...... obviously there are a LOT of very stupid people wandering about then.
Pope appeals for Middle East calm..... he should get calm back into his church before telling others what to do.
Flood alerts following heavy rain..... well they would hardly come after drought now, would they?

Some of the wonderful headlines I have found..... they keep me, and hopefully you, amused.

Good, isn't it.....

News on Sunday.........

Let me ask you a question, Mr Osbourne,” a doctor in America once said to me, after I’d listed all the heavy-duty substances I’d been abusing since the 1960s.
“All right,” I said. “Go ahead."
The doctor put down his notebook, loosened his tie a bit, and let out this long, weary sigh.
“Why are you still alive?"
Ozzy Osbourne has now been contracted by the Times of London, to write a column and I hope he keeps on the way he started, it was hysterical, especially when he talks about having a test for prostate cancer, I quote, hopefully with no repercussions: One guy even asked: “Where is it?” I told him, “Up your arse,” and he went: “How do they check that, then?” I said: “How do you think? It starts with a rubber glove and ends with your voice rising 10 octaves.”

Exactly, it's like Jordan from a few posts back and Dennis Hopper, a seriously screwed up man if ever there was one and of course the famous Hunter S. Thompson. When you see what these people put down their throats, it is a wonder that they are still alive. How do they do it? It makes me feel ill reading about it! I mean they are walking pharmaceutical companies!! ANd I'm forgetting all the drink as well. It would be fun to do an autopsy on them I suppose, like
"Who's got more in them tonight?" than the other..one could make it into a TV series... now there's a thought.

I hate drugs like I hate guns. I am talking about the "recreational" drugs.. what's recreational about them? One becomes a junkie, spends vast amounts of money mostly that one doesn't have in the first place, apart from "Stars", does the most appalling things to oneself and others, all because of a fix and normally ends up dead faster much than anticipated. Not really much fun, I would think.

Guns kill. We can go on about the " right to bear arms , ok I suppose if you were living in an area with whole mobs of gangs, but most of us don't. If you take away guns, you take away a LOT of killing. It's not the same to blindly shoot, or shoot with intent and purpose, someone, whilst being 150 metres away, or kill someone with a knife, where you have to go up to that person, who definitely won't like what you're trying to do in the first place and will usually vehemently resist, and then slit their throats, or stab them.

IT'S NOT THE SAME.. GUNS KILL, take them away. And then lets'see how many killings there would be.

To leave you with a bit of nonsense, have a good look at the photo... brilliant:

Good, isn't it...

Wonderful things from the UK.............

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. ArthurPurdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said,
"We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr.
Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that
destroyed his house.".......... says it all, doesn't it...

A list of actual announcements that London Tube drivers have made to their passengers...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite
direction."
____

"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."
_____

"Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause.) "Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care -- I'm going home...."
_____

"Please move all baggage away from the doors." (Pause..) "Please move ALL belongings away from the doors." (Pause...) "This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your arse sideways!"

I thought we need a bit of levity for the end of a week of sorrows. I hope you enjoyed them, I did!

Good, isn't it.....

Glamour........

Has more or less disappeared. Such a shame. I was looking at something MSN posted this morning about glamorous films and Audrey Hepburn was in 3, Marylin in 2 and there were a good choice of others. Audrey was elegance personified, even in "The Nun's Story" walking around in a habit, and don't let's forget "My Fair Lady", breathtaking.....

The so called stars we have today look for the most time, when caught on camera, like something the cat's brought home on a bad night and probably smell as bad. They mostly wear too little, I'm talking about the women here..on second thoughts, some men too, or overdo the bling and look like walking Christmas trees, and they have what is called a "stylist???". hhhmmmm The men can't find anything else except a shirt hanging over their trousers, the inevitable bloody jeans, stubble, YUK. NO thank you. OK, men don't have to wear suits all the time, but there is so much more out there than jeans! Adn you look a lot nicer without the facial fuzz... it's dirty looking.

And then we have to take into consideration the amount of Botox, nips, tucks, pulls and tweaks, but this has spread to the men too. Where's the glamour? We see " Paris getting raunchy in Paris" Is this a double entendre or is Miss Hilton just being her usual annoying self? Then we get endless things about the poor mans Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox, Kim Kardashian, who is this woman??? do I want to know??? does she actually do something?? etc.

Where has glamour gone? I used to wear beautiful cocktail dresses and jewellery when going out at a weekend or to parties, and wish those days would come back, because my clothes are sitting in a wardrobe looking very glum. Yes, I know times have changed, but sitting here, watching this endless parade of flesh and tacky behaviour, quite frankly, I liked it all better before.

Good, isn't it.......

I cannot believe this:

Headline read by me just now: KNITTED BREASTS AVAILABLE ON NHS FOR NEW MOTHERS!!! WHAT?? The mind boggles, at least mine does! what do they mean? Do mums get breasts from knitted things now? Isn't this a wonderful headline...

Are you also fed up with reading about the same old people all the time? Fergie, I'd wish she'd just shut up and go somewehere else... Andy Murray, shave, you're ugly enough... Miley Cyrus, what a name!... Lady GAGA, at least she's really weird and a very sharp cookie...Susan Boyle, yawn... Sarah Palin, enough said...Jose Mourinho.. a prat etc. etc. Let them be stuffed into the hole in the pipeline, along with most politicians, Gordon Brown, Bush, Rice, Cheyney, the Blairs, Karzai, and I am sure a lot more.

My thought for the end of this blog: why is it, when I wash my cats, they promptly go and lick themselves afterwards and get full of cat spit again? It rather defeats the purpose...

Good, isn't it...

Headlines.........

Don't you love reading them? They're like a mystery book, here are some from this morning, gathered from around the world:

Man's head impaled on spike, (I hope it was comfortable):
Celine Dion pregnant with twins (must she?):
Property market surges as Hips axed ( What have axed Hips got to do with the property surge?):
Bank holiday will end on a dry note, (that'll make a change):
Flocks of marauding crows attack Berlin residents (We told you to be kinder to them):
Robbers blow up entire bank but leave penniless (obviously moronic bank robbers, come here we'll give you lessons):
National heroes exhumed in Mexico (Wtf??? don't they have any living ones???):
Stripes may not be bees defence (if they're happy, let them be, sorry!!! What do you want them to wear?)

You see what I mean? It's the same with SPAM, I get some corkers coming sometimes and I'll post some.

Godd, isn't it............

Moans, or rants, whichever preferred...

I read this morning that there is a question going around, such a profound one it is too. It's: Is there a life after Harry Potter? Forgive me if I don't immediately fall over in a faint and scream and cry. YES THERE IS YOU MORONS!!! Does this have to make headlines? Do we not have enough in the world to occupy ourselves with without this drivel?

Something else: Spain has been downgraded yet again by another world group, for its credit rating. The Spanish people don't need someone to tell them that, they already know it. All that is except Mr. Bean and his government. With over 20% unemployment, which is MASSIVE by any standards, these marvellous people want to put up the VAT to 20% this year. Can someone from the government tell me how they think that will help, when most people are already in tremendous debt and have been turned out of their homes for default, are in the process of being turned out, have no work etc. etc. I am not an economist, but raising VAT on everything, when people can't even afford the basics, rather defeats the purpose before it's begun, don't you think?

To end my weekend rants, a somewhat lighter note, which I have, thank heavens , found.
A Swiss court, bless them, have ruled that a naked hiker is not showing indecent behaviour. How wonderful. This has taken place in Appenzell, where the women were allowed for the first time to vote, can you believe it, in 1990!!! A prosecutor said that this does not give blanket permission for people to walk naked everywhere... the mind boggles, especially as the Appenzellers are not terribly good looking... sorry, but it's true. I saw enough of them. Swiss federal law states that public nudity is not a crime. That's good news I suppose to those who wish to parade their pale bodies about. I shall leave you with this most interesting vision of people wandering about, stark naked, singing Appenzeller songs and trying to get brown, if there is any sun there at present, that is.

Good, isn't it.... and thank you to all who have become followers.. I shall endeavour to make interesting reading for you. Spread the word...

I really do think

that we are all living in a very odd world sometimes.
There is such beauty around us, wonders of nature, the elegance and strength of nature, with exception maybe of the poor Blobfish, and we do our best to destroy it. The oil spill brings this to my mind, yet another dreadful showing of what can happen when we do things which nature didn't want. Of course I like to drive, but, as we all have to drive slower and not faster, there are alternatives rather than petrol, or gas as it's called.

I am rather fed up with all the bad news, can someone make some nice news for a change? we could end the week feeling happy, instead of depressed! And I sincerely hope that the 2 irresponsible parents in Indonesia are made to stand up to their appalling child and show them who's the adult.

Good, isn't it............

Isn't it unbelievable...

that there is a 2 year old boy in Indonesia who is allowed to smoke 40 cigarettes a day..Yes, you read this correctly. Apparently his parents allow him to do it because he kicks up such a stink if he's not allowed them.
He looks dreadful, has health problems... does that surprise you, etc. etc.
What appalls me most, is the fact that the parents have allowed this to happen! I commented on the fact that the one "job" which one does not have to have a diploma, board certificate or the like, is for becoming a parent. Now add to that the utter stupidity of these 2 adults and one can only imagine that a certificate for not being an idiot should be somewhere too. How can they let this happen? why don't the authorities do something about it? There is a health ministry in Indonesia, DO SOMETHING!!
Doesn't it just render one speechless?

Good, isn't it.....

MoD and blowing up live pigs and the like...

Oh dear, I'm faced with the gruesome fact that the Ministry of Defence used 119 pigs and blew them up whilst still alive, to find out how they reacted. WHAT? How do they think they'd react? with joy and cheering?
This was apparently to find out the results in the animals, so the results can be used to help soldiers and patients. OK. That I get, but live animals? They were "sedated." Then what did they feel like, if and when they survived the blowing up? The breed of pigs use have skins similar to humans, I expect that makes the poor pigs feel much better! I quote, verbatim:

An RSPCA spokesman said the MoD was required to carry out the tests under strict controls, but added: 'For many, such a use of animals represents a distressing example of the price animals can end up paying as a result of humans' inhumanity towards other humans.'

An MoD spokesman said: 'The advances made due to this research can be utilised both in theatre and civilian scenarios, particularly if there are mass casualties and evacuation to hospital is delayed.'

Government figures show more than 50,000 animals, including sheep, monkeys and cattle, have been subject to experiments at Porton Down in the past four years, including ones using chemical and biological weapons such as Anthrax and nerve gas.

Quite frankly, I'd prefer to use this type of experiment on the terrorists captured as they show not an iota of remorse for the suffering they cause with their bombs etc. against innocent people, all in the name of "God."

Good, isn't it......

High heels

I have been following with interest, a programme called: Germany's next Top Model. It's entertaining, the girls are not stupid and besides, they are just beautiful to look at. One of them, Alisar, is out of this world, she's so gorgeous. And to add to all that, there's a wonderful gay, called Jorge Gonzalez Nippel something something... he has so many names, from Cuba who actually studied nuclear phsyics at the university in Belgrade, I believe, and is a catwalk choreographer. He came out in 6 inch high heels and is showing the girls how to walk and move on the catwalk, with hysterical results!

Then, I see today in the Times Online, that high heels are now being sold for men.... I am looking forward to seeing the results of this. Can you imagine your next door neighbour's husband, toddling down the street in them? Or your own man friend, lover, partner, husband etc.??? It conjures up some wonderful images...

Good, isn't it............

It was rather nice

to see 3 of our top politicians in Great Britain walking down the road together, no huge amount of guards apparent, which no doubt they were, and chatting as they walked. It says a lot for the casualness and respecct for people in general in GB. One can walk and talk. Poor President Obama can't do that, nor can many other prime ministers or presidents.

Apropos of nothing, I have just finished James Camerons book called : Cross Country. It's not worth buying, it was dreadful. His detective Alex Cross, whom I liked in previous stories, is an absolute twit in this one. His family needs to give him a kick in the teeth for being so stupid. I'm not getting any more of these stories. I can write better than this.

Bangkok is "back to normal". I have been shopping at the Centre World shopping mall, on many an occasion, and am saddened to see what has happened here. The red shirts won't get anywhere by these actions, the government's attitude, whether we like it or not, is to be tough, with reason, this sort of thing has caused terrible economic problems for the country, and can't be permitted. I still feel bad for all the grievances which are not being heard.

Carlos Ramirea, " The Jackal" id protesting the way he and his band of " Freedom fighters" are being portrayed in a French film. Do we care? You were thugs and murderers and have got what was owing to you. There's nothing glamourous in what they did. Cold blooded murder, all over the place. Why could he see the film in the first place? Can someone tell me please?

Good, isn't it......

Scum

I read that a magistrate was reprimanded because he used the word Scum when referring to 2 delinquents who defaced and damaged holy artifacts in a church and defaced prayer books.

What else could he say? They are. Apparently the mother of one of these wonder boys, has asked for an inquiry into this. I'd ask for an inquiry into why and how she brought up her son to be such an idiot and how she could justify his actions, that would be proper. The court clerk, who is the person who made all this hoohah over 1 word,thought it "inapropriate". Oh dear! This is what they did:

"The 16-year-old boys scribbled racist and sexually abusive graffiti on prayer books and bent a valuable cross out of shape in Blackburn Cathedral, Lancashire"

Now, wouldn't you call them scum too? I'd take the clerk off her duties, without pay, from being such a stupid woman in the first place. What would she call them? Poor little hard done by children???

Good, isn't it..............

The latest nonsense...

I have read today, is that 2 groups of Muslims want to build a 100 million $ great mosque and cultural centres right next to Ground Zero!

They have really lost the plot, don't you think? What utter crass nerve and disdain for ALL the people who lost their lives through the hands of MUSLIM terrorists. I have nothing against Islam, on the contrary, I have nothing against religion, as long as it is not shoved down my throat nor is it in any way, fanaticism. That applies to all religions.

However, I do have a beef with Muslims in a whole. You behave as if your religion is the only one in the world, it isn't. You behave as if there is only one God, maybe to you, but not to the majority of others. You behave as if we must obey Islam and try and impose your religion with its mosques etc. on us. We don't want it. IF, on the other hand, you were to show tolerance towards OUR Christian religions etc. allowing us to construct our churches and letting us worship our religion freely in your countries, as you do in ours, THEN and only then, could I consider changing my mind.

As this is as likely as hell freezing over, I suggest you take your idea and shove it somewhere, preferably not at Ground Zero.

Megan Fox

is to lose her title of "The world's sexiest woman" she never was! A very poor copy of Angelina Jolie and she can't act her way out of a paper bag! Her performance in Transformers was on a par with Shia le Boeuf's. Ghastly.

Who is this British " actress" who now pops up after YEARS of silence and claims Polanski assaulted her sexually? Oh lord, where do they all come from and is anyone interested in their sordid claims? Rather like Monica Lewinsky keeping her dress with semen stains on it.... how revolting. And we think she's been hard done by?? Really? What a slag... and I hate that word.