I found some marvellous headlines and these are my interpretations of them.
One armed man applauds the kindness of people.....I am imagining this.....
Protect Porpoises.... absolutely, especially the ones I have found swimming about merrily in my back garden after the torrential rain we have had. They are watched by the cats and have now a following from all the neighbours. I will be sorry when they leave.
Mayor Parris to homeless... Go home ...
Missippi's literacy programme shows improvement. This was how it was written in the paper, not by me!
Homicide victims rarely talk to police. DUH.....
Sewage spill kills fish but water safe to drink. I wonder what they are trying to tell us here? anyone know because I sure as hell can't work it out!
And the all time favourite: Miracle cure kills 5 patients. There;s nothing to say really, is there!
Good, isn't it....
