Laws of life, sent to me by one dear friend and enjoyed so much by moi, that I have posted them with my comments.

And before we start, how true they all are....

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch & you'll have to pee. (Never fails)

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. (As do earrings when you are in a hurry and the others don't match your outfit)

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. ( Too many to mention!)

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal & someone always answers. (And they never speak your language)

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. ( This has not happened to me yet, probably because I am my own boss)

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were
in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). ( And there is always some prat who looks smug as they go past)

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
rings. (Do not know as I take my telephones into the bathroom with me!)

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. ( Yes, especially with clients who are ghastly)

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. (As per the washing machine)

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. ( Women have this on the end of their boobs and men in their pants, which does not stop them from scratching like a dog. The men, I mean)

11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet & who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies & stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk. (I have never been to an American hockey game, so cannot comment. European hockey is different.)

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. (Not applicable, see Law of the Alibi)

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. (Also standing waiting at a traffic light. The people behind you in their cars will invariably go behind you, like sheep)

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich
landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness & cost
of the carpet or rug. ( But of course!)

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. 
(Very true especially of politicians)

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.( A fine example is Gordon Brown, ex Prime M¡nister of Gt. Britain. However his clothes didn't fit.)

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet. (Appicable to so called "STARS" They should take heed. Footballers too)

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a
product that you really like, they will stop making it.( With my friend it's lipstick and with me, perfume, and it drives us both NUTS!)

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the
doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. (Rather like the washing machine thing, see above)